So I’m back at the gym and had been doing ok food wise but then I slipped. There was wine, takeaway and beer. A pasty and a hot dog and beer out of plastic cups. 

Then there was a trip to the Om Yoga show where I talked to loads of great people about how yoga and the associated food, lifestyle etc was good for you. 

And I had this sense of de ja vu. You see I’ve been here before. Listened to all the options and suggestions. Bought the book, worn the tshirt and signed up to the inspirational emails and marketing. 

But here I am again. Self sabotaging. Fitzpatrick is really trying so hard to help me – working his way through the Lean in 15 cook books, making me chicken and rice and veggies for lunch – but then Sunday comes and I suggest we stop off for tacos ok the way home and one margarita leads to 4 then 2 G&Ts and well I’m undoing all that good work again. 

It’s interesting to step back and look at it. I have this ‘feck it’ approach. Life’s too short to not do/eat/drink what you want. But then I’m disappointed in myself for not sticking with it. 

I turn 44 next Monday. I’m in a much better place that I was this time last year. I’m lighter, stronger, a non smoker and making some real progress. But in order to get to where I want to be there has to be a bit more sacrifice I think. 

Our Gym is now open 24 hours a day so this morning we were up at 5 (which hurt a bit after the excess of yesterday) and in the weight room by 5.30. It’s lovely and empty and means that being busy at work is no longer an excuse (darn it!). I only managed 3 visit last week as I pushed myself a bit hard on leg day but back at it this week. 

Just need to (try) and stop with the two steps forward one step back.